“March till May 2014, frankly, my worst mood ever. What am I doing? Why bother? The world suck, humanity suck, I suck.
Going back and forth with the feeling there is no meaning.
I need to find out what to do.
Not much of the work and projects over then, and not that interesting, just enough to get by.
That just wasn’t enough. Tons of ideas and none of the ambition.
To be brief, I short-changed myself to believe I need to give up on an idea or a project before I even start, it just won’t be good enough or interesting.
Can’t really say what sparked it, but I found myself trying to do a focus stacking technique in the backyard in my PJs … at noon.
I was wondering around in the backyard with my dog, waiting for her to do her stuff, and saw a really big ant, I thought -let’s just try it.
Using a tripod and a macro lens I did what I think was the best thing to do, only to discover first hand the f-stop in which diffraction was affecting the sharpness. So I had a few tests, meanwhile I started to think what was the meaning of all that, really, What?
That’s where it struck me, if I’d go there again the outcome will be 0 to photography 1 to ponder, and from there it’s a short way almost invisible gap to leave the photography and wander off… thinking about photography and art, statements, the meaning. That didn’t do me good back then.
I started looking for interesting dead bugs, they had to be the size of a bee length more or less and they had to have an interesting pose, if the phrase “appealing Rigor Mortis” is bizarre, well you can call it a bizarre project.
It’s not that easy, to find those specimens, their fellow friends take care of them quick unless you search near spider’s web, then it started to get kinky.
I had a lot more possibilities than the other macro photographers because my subjects were very still and lighting did not affect or startle them at all. Still, there was something that shouted keep it basic and minimal.
The artistic statements that derive from the project title (Requiem) and the sheer mechanism of the work, especially involving posing the subjects, can relay and reflect issues everyone deals with everyday of life.”